Territorial matters

On several occasions I experienced a very singular feeling during my school years. You might also remember “that moment when some other kid was sitting at your usual place when you where late to class”… weird wasn’t it? You were so used to sitting there that you didn’t even know you didn’t have a plan B when it came to matters of sitting order. 

I didn’t know back then that there was a science behind my weird feeling…

Proxemics…

Edward T. Hall used the term during his studies on zones of territories and their uses. Hall came up with 4 distinct zones in which we mostly operate:

1. Intimate distance: for lovers, children, close relatives and friends, etc.
2. Personal distance: Friends, colleagues, group discussions, etc.
3. Social distance: people met recently, strangers, etc.
4. Public distance: audiences, larger groups, etc.

The key here is to understand the value the other person is giving these distances and the “acceptable” distance for the situation you are in. The context is very important as we can’t have a proper “reading” regarding the zone otherwise. A member of the opposite sex can be in your “intimate zone” as a result of a flirt or it can be due to the fact you are in a crowded and loud bar where he/she has to be close so you can hear each other. 

Hall’s studies on the matter can be summarized with the following diagram:

You can conduct your own experiments on this matter very easily in your everyday life. Approach any stranger more than an arm’s length to ask for directions and see them take a step back… most of the time they won’t even notice what they did. Try to occupy more than your half of a cafeteria table when eating with a friend to see how uncomfortable you can make them… Although more confrontational arm rests at cinemas are also a good example. 

So what’s all this got to do with your desk back at school? it was part of your territory, just like you spot on the couch, the bench at the park, the seat in the meeting room…

Depending on the desired outcome of any negotiation you can choose to make the other person more comfortable or more uncomfortable just by respecting or disrespecting their territories.

Please note that this matter is very “culture sensitive” meaning that for example the “social zone” in the Middle East is about as wide as the “intimate zone” in western countries. As I said beware of the context.